abit guilty

was doing some cruising online..
and chance upon the foodie website..
was thinking of seeing whether there is any interesting places for me to explore and to grab cheap deals along the way..
well..
it got to me that the doctor(who is the blogger)
wrote a post.
it somehow shock me back to reality..
working in gallup for like 3 months.
i was somehow push to the one side of the world.
everyday, i deal with money!
yeah, money..
i got to know more about money..
got to know more stuff..
and inevitably..
wanting to b in the rat race..
i realise i want to be in it..
maybe for the hope of security in the near future??

however, i somehow quite forgotten what i really wanted in life.
so after reading the article abt HIV kids losing parents and their lives..
and still being able to face life with so much grace and cheerfulness.
i admire this spirit.
mayb is becos i do not have this spirit!
hahaha..
but still it is amazing..
to hear all of this coming from a HIV positive child of 5-6 years old.
No parents, no siblings?
Alone in the world..
encouraging ppl arnd her who have the same fate to b stronger.

how irony the world is.
the world seems to b divided.
and strictly speaking.
it is..
i know this is ridiculous..
but after looking tru the page..
i rmb i once wanted to do smth..
and tt is i've got the money..
i wanna adopt a child..
giving the person a new lease of life..
quite nice..
just send money over..
and mayb pay a visit or smth?
i know it is not so easy just to say say..
about giving money and such..
but somehow..
i just feel that if you have this mentality, at least u won't forget the less fortunate..
almost everyone is fighting for themselves.
to climb higher to earn a living..
i really wonder sometimes why do u have to made yrself roll into this rat race situation.
well..
of course there's a lot of theory and terms to explain this..
just felt like voicing out.

I feel that.
if u feel that if u consider that someone who climbs high is someone to look upon.
mayb you shld really go into drastic condition and u will feel who to realli look up upon.
to me..
i will look up upon the 7 years old girl.
i hope that all is well to her and she will have many treasured memories to keep with her before she went to her lord.