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i suppose the title can somehow describe how i am feeling right now.
i am not depressed.
just..
feel something is missing.

i've learnt quite alot for the past few weeks.
i've learnt..

美丽的风景只有在你累的时候才最动人。
好盼望每天都能看到的风景，
真的会让你每天都有这种感觉吗 ?

失败的定义
其实是自己给的.
失败过,
不管在怎么努力..
没有那份勇气.
怎样都站不起来。

在一天内，
一个人可以笑好多次。
但，
每一个笑，
都有不同的意识。

怀念，
真的只可以让你念着。
想回到过去，
也只能用想的回去。

努力，
有时候是费的。
天分，
才比较实在。
但是，
如果， 你有努力和天分。。
那。。你该知道你会得到什么。

快乐，不开心，愤怒。。
种种心情，其实不是自己给的。
而是，
因状况而产生的。

懦弱和勇气
其实，
只是一线之差。

最后，
人是复杂的。

still got alot.. but i seem to forget.. :)

remember this phrase from someone. (forgot who.. 'm sorry)
"I seem to lost myself while trying to find the new me."
find it very true.
my normal "no life" routine (i think my sistaz know wad it means lar..),
made me realise that everybody is caught up in the rat race.
be it u r working or u r studying..
"A fulfilling life is better than slogging your life for good results.."
may sound familiar to some,
may sound stupid to some.
i fall into the first category.
so familiar..
but i realise..
by having a fulfilling life..
would mean good results.
good results are actually a subset of fulfilling life.
men wans
money.power.status.
fulfilling life = money + power + status
dun say its untrue.
whatever you want for a fulfilling life,
it somehow are tied up with that three WOW words.
scared?
for wad..
you have been living in this sort of world for so long..

i'm still finding myself..
but the problem is..
i am very slow in looking for things.
have been thinking of hospitality again..
hahaha..
i need to 打很多电话。。 (mei will know wad i mean..)
darn it.
but i scare i 打了。。
又是个错误的选择。。
还是继续找吧。。

hohoho..
i seriously need a treasure hunter's spirit in my life..
girl (april),
SERIOUSLY,
i am damn proud n so jealous of u..
hohoho..

我被你们摸到

yes.
被摸到。
this is what chingy says when she receives my card.
i wan to say i 被你们摸到too.
TOUCHED.
SUPER DUPER touched!

hahah..
我一个人又冷又累在library mug..
hoping i can get some warmth.
probably a jacket..
'cos the stupid me can hold my jacket in my hands and realise it is lost only a few hours later..
it is my bday prezzie somemore..
'm totally disgusted with myself!
yar.. so i m freezing in the lib..
no jacket man 'cos he got exam.
and i also shy!

den..
i met my sista..
woo.. shan mei mei, i love ya..
hahaha.. she brought 2 jacket.
1 for her n 1 for me.
to use till i buy a new one!
wahlao~
摸到摸到摸到。。
u all is my besta frEnz

den.. this morning..
i receive a call..
ching mei mei..
she says her mama cook food for me..
she bringing to school for me..
argh..
摸到摸到摸到
rant the whole day wanting to eat homecook food n woohoo..
got home cook food to eat liao..
tho i vv shy..
hahahah..
ching mei mei's mama food is nice de wor..
am so excited!

happy happy!!

okie..
back to my JApan..
lauZ..
i read until i wAn to sleep.
Nara, Hein, Tukugawa, Meiji.. think miss out smth in between.. den u must rmb all those stupid ppl. i now only can rmb Fujiwara.. who marries all his daughters to the emperor.. Eeewwwwew..
okie.. back to the books!

JiayOu pEeps.
JiAyOu BOy~
JiaYOu Moi~

i'm the late musketeer..

muahahah.. yep.. the late musketeer is here to blog about her idea! muahaha...
tt's my idea. sweet right.
Congrats!!
tho i came so late.. and everything is done.
and not all my ideas are used!
=.=
All the best~ Together Forever! :p


okie.. am bored.. so decide to blog..
have been raining for days.
have been reading for days.
i is BORED!
i is SIANZ!
so many overdued post..
will keep u guys update again!

oh yeah.. I DESPERATELY NEED JOB.
muahahah.. wad else is new.
tok to me if got lobang! :)

JiayOu peeps!

youtube's queen influence..

for him..

作曲:人工卫星填词:李焯雄

都可以随便的
你说的我都愿意去
小火车摆动的旋律
都可以是真的
你说的我都会相信
因为我完全信任你
细腻的喜欢
毛毯般的厚重感
晒过太阳熟悉的安全感
分享热汤
我们两支汤匙一个碗
左心房暖暖的好饱满
我想说其实你很好
你自己却不知道
真心的对我好
不要求回报
爱一个人希望他过更好
打从心里暖暖的
你比自己更重要

回忆里满足的旋律
你手掌的厚实感
什么困难都觉得有希望
我哼着歌
你自然的就接下一段
我知道暖暖就在胸膛
从来都很低调
自信心不高
你比自己更重要
我也希望变更好

to kill time.. n oso some tots

hmm..
tat n sern, muz b now in their bed sleeping their heads off.
i still have to wait till shyan to return me my keys.
its ok.
i shall use this time to blog.

it's a crazy week.
how crazy is it?
dun wish to elaborate.
but its the worst.
*i think*
the effect of this week is still on me.
haha..
mayb tt's my life.

in any case.
wld really thank all those who realli help me out.
esp. tat. (for yest.)
cant thank enuff.
me, yanyan, chingy will rmb u!
muahahaha..
n whoever that i see/tok to this week.
it matters. :)

thanks for this mOrning, boys!
realli a GOOD therapy for me.
muahahaha..
minesweeper, toking cok, movie, tibbits, the company..
wad more can u ask for..
when u actually plan to study overnight in central lib.
*ooh.. n i complete a mission for tat.
feel damn proud too.
tho, tt "mission" was meant a small getaway..
but my suayness will never decrease..
so stupid things happen again and with tat's help.
somehow.. it's solve.
budden tt mission was fun!!!*
hahahahaha.. darn!

oh yar..
and when i woke up from that nap..
and realise dawn has come..
woot.
pretty.
the feeling is good.
i seem to forget my stress.
took a walk at the balcony.
damn. BEAUTIFUL.
i even caught sight of an airplane with the orangy-blue sky as backgrnd.
PRETTY PRETTY PRETTY.
and with stupid jokes by the two of them..
hahaha.. best time of the week!
one sad thing would b the grave of fireflies cant load..
if i know.. i shld have watch the classic.
eeewww..

lastly,
would like to tok abt this person.
vv gan dong.
tho she nvr do anything.
but tt concern she gave me,
makes me feel so loved n so guilty.

she is my er.. childhood fren?
born 2 mths after me.
and we grow up playing n studying together till we r pri 5 (tt's when we separate).
i can still rmb some of our childhood memories.
n it really feels good to think back.
somehow,
that separation drifts us apart.
men are weird.
frens who are so close, can become so distant when each of them has different agendas in life.
i'm so happy..
she is doing so well.
alwaz an artist, forever an artist.
she did not prove me wrong. :)
when we r small..
we stick arnd doing our art hmk together..
hahaha.. i alwaz vv stress up.
her drawings all A wor..
even my mama says she talented.
so when u choose to go *shit, forget. Laselle? Nafa?* art school lar..
i know she will excel.
she is doing great.

hey girl.. realli u r doing great. :)

men.. tho separated..
but then
there's smth in you that u will never forget.
tt smth is call memory.
it is alwaz there in yr heart.
y heart but not somewhere in yr brain.
hmm..i feel tt..
things tt dun make u forget/reminisce is smth that touched yr heart in someway or another.
disappointment, love, sadness, etc etc.. all these...
are from yr heart.
not yr brain.
therefore, once yr heart is being affected in someway.
u will never forget.
that's how i feel.

well.. yep..
our 2 families are close.
that's why when we look back.
besides us affecting each other.
our family members do play a part.
u rmb my granny.
i rmb yr bro, papa n mama.
somehow.. to hear tt they are doing well.
it feels good. :)
thanks for showing concern on tt day.
n thx for encouraging me!


jiAyou! jiAyOu! jiAyOu!

是不是

是不是
屋子要塌的时候,
你才想回家看看.

it's back

mei ask me @ lunch today，
"it's back ah.."

den i ask her is it very obvious.
she say yes.
hai~

yes.
it's back.
'cos its the time of the sem again.
everyday..
it seems worst.

vv angry!
i hate this time of the year.
i cant breathe.
i've drowned on some days.
and revived for some hours and den died again.

"4" this number is what i'm looking forward to.
"17", end of my misery?
"XX", will i die of disappointment?

i is 懦弱。
i is 可笑的。

the fact had actually never left me.

determination

Can you see the determination in her teary eyes?

i can.

she is a strong girl.

可笑。。

好大的战争。

好大的差别让我无法呼吸。

他们说，
她们说，

都是假的。

只有自己最明白。

...

有人告诉我,
没有必要自卑.

可是,
往往,
好大的差别不由得你不去这么想.

"辛苦"这两个字.
是谁写的?

life

have been doing alot of thinking nowadays.
when i am walking,
when i am on the bus,
when i am stoning..
etc..

wad is life.
wad do u wan in life?
can u control yr life?
i believe in destiny.
yes.
fate.
vv silly.
but somehow, i choose to believe it.

finished my "Notebook",
different from the movie,
but then again..
it got me thinking.
there's the part, where Allie realise she got Alzemier.
And Noah, who loves her dearly,
was there with her when the doctor tells them the condition..

memory.
good or bad.
it is yr life.
erased.
and that's it.
wad's there to live for?
live for yr family?
when u dun remember them?
well, many will say, its good to forget.
but, is it?

to Noah,
it's devastating.
knowing yr love one is sick.

got to see this show in the evening yesterday.
the granny died infront of his hon.
sadness.
how sad can it be to see yr love one leave u?

got to hear alot of stories nowadays.
feel sad about life.
it's unpredictable.
how it affects someone.
and it somehow got me to think about my granny n grandpa again
at the age of 15.
do i know wad is the meaning of parting?
can i feel the pain?
mayb yes,
a little.
wad about my grandpa.
i alwaz rmb the red eyes i saw.
can i feel it?

mayb not then.
but i can feel it now.
mayb i have matured.
i think.
i went to visit him yesterday.
not really visit,
juz to bring food for him n my uncle.
he asked me," 'm i working now?"

it's ok for the elderly to forget such things.
memory fails.
and he got a lot of grandchildren
cant keep track of everyone right?
but tt's not the 1st time he ask me.
its ok to think tt i am graduating.
but he ask me whether i am working..
i'm..
speechless.

on my way home,
i rmb my grandpa to be the strong n healthy guy.
but,
it seems like
after my granny left.
his health deterioate.
plus so much things happen at home recently.
is he happy?
i wOnder now..
as in the emptyness w/o my granny.

life.
who controls it?
you, me or destiny.

today,
i walk pass the pgp canteen.
saw the little girl i alwaz saw in pgp.
wearing school uniform..
watching tv in tv room.
walking arnd
doing the little things tt she like.
i saw her.
sitting alone in the canteen.
reading in the dim light.
waiting for her mummy to close shop.
do i feel sad for her?
abit.
den i ask myself.
y shld u?
she is happy.

Happiness is how u define for yrself.
my life is good.
way too good.
i juz dun cherish it.
i will juz live it to the fullest.
juz dun have anymore regrets.

i know i make a lot of silly mistakes.
take alot of wrotng steps.
hurt alot of people.
can i make amendments?
no point looking back.
mayb i shld look forward.

miracles will happen for people who wants to fight on but not for those who wish miracle will JUST happen in their life..

loSt tOuch

i'm back to reading.
Hurray.
i tend to forget the joy it brings me.
'm happy.
i decide to pick up a book and read.
For many many months...
or perhaps,
for a year..
i keep wanting to read..
but
time forbids me

now,
i pick up the "Notebook".
and it become some sort of my bedtime story.
tho its only a few page.
but..

I'm happy.

please let it continues..

时光机器

如果时间可以倒转,
这个世界会是怎样的地方?

假面的告白

发现自己一直带着面具.
戴久了,
就习惯了.
忘了自己真正的样子.
每天,
就这样的过.

你看到我的疯狂,
你看到我的笑颜,
你看到我的洒脱.
这真的是我吗?

他们说,
我这样子很好.
真的吗?
我厌倦我的面具.
我厌倦我的逃避.
我厌倦我的懦弱.
我累了.

没有勇气的女孩.
戴着面具往前走.
用她的假面对待一切.
告诉自己,
"没有问题了."
可是自己知道它还存在.

是真的吗?
还是想太多.

越想隐藏,
越受不了.

讨厌这个我.
讨厌这个面具.

就像他说的: "我是个罪人吗?"

最初的梦想

范玮琪《最初的梦想》

* 如果骄傲没被现实大海冷冷海啸
又怎回头的要有多努力才走得到远方
如果梦想不曾坠落悬崖前据一方
又怎会晓得执着的人也有隐形翅膀
把眼泪装在心上会看出勇敢的话
可以在疲惫的时光闭上眼睛闻到一种芬芳
就像好好睡了一夜直到天亮
有人边吵着又哼着歌用着轻快的步伐
沮丧时总会明显感到孤独的重量
我渴望懂得的人给些温暖借个肩膀
很放心一路上我们的默契那么长
穿过风又绕个弯心海仍旧像往常一样 *

# 最初的梦想紧握在手上 最想要去的地方
怎能在半路就分合 最初的梦想绝对会到达
实现了整个渴望 才能算到过了天堂 #

Repeat * # #

沮丧

today is a 沮丧的一天。
心情超不好。
为什么。。
我总是这么差？

-.=
=.-
=.=


不可以放弃。
好怕。

拥抱

歌曲：拥抱
歌手：五月天 专辑：听不到你


脱下长日的假面奔向梦幻的疆界
南瓜马车的午夜换上童话的玻璃鞋
让我享受这感觉我是孤傲的蔷薇
让我品尝这滋味纷乱世界的不了解

昨天太近明天太远默默聆听那黑夜
晚风吻尽荷花叶任我醉倒在池边
等你清楚看见我的美月光晒干眼泪
那一个人爱我
将我的手紧握
抱紧我吻我喔爱~~~别走*

隐藏自己的疲倦表达自己的狼狈
放纵自己的狂野找寻自己的明天
向你要求的誓言就算是你的谎言
我需要爱的慰借就算那爱已如潮水

repeat*

那一个人爱我
将我的手紧握
抱紧我吻我喔爱~~~别走

抱紧我吻我喔爱~~~别走
抱紧我吻我喔爱~~~

我喜欢..

take a vv long bus ride..
sitting dwn by the window with a FM.
alone.
looking out of the window.

I love 151.
the non-aircon one.
sitting by the open window and let the wind blow into yr face..
Stoning.
Dreaming.

I love the night @ vivo.
sitting there n stoning.

What do i actually like..

Serenity.

say byebye!

darn it.
my lappy gg to say byebye to me.
it auto shut down again!!!
AGAIN!

dun pull stun on me..
i have tons of work this week!

i have a "wonderful" life

R.O.A.R

this week = 穷,累,死,痛,衰!

压力!!!

if i can survive.. please celebrate..

*see pic* with myself

taken from www.yahoo.com

understaNding

i cannot understand men..
i am men.
i cannot understaNd myself..

fcuking ugly world..

hey..
if one day, u look nto the mirror and ask yrself why are u so ugly..
it's ok.
you need not go into depression.
the whole darn world is ugly too.
so why waste yr energy on being sad when everybody is ugly too..

i am very angry. very very angry..
till to a point i wan to slap everybody..
i have not been so angry since i am back till now..

ROAR!!!!!!!!!

wad the hell..
come on people..
let me tell u something.
when u grow up.
Dun ever think that u r force to take care of yr parents.
this is wad u should do.
YOU!
yes you!
wad you have now..
is not drop from the sky.
is what yr parents provide u

so one day..
u got yr own family..
and they are smth that is important to u at that point of time..
( please use yr darn brain - without yr parents u will NEVER have existed and had such accomplishment. )
please..
if u want to be filial to yr parents.
do it the right way.
dun think that bringing them out is smth wonderful u had done.
And u r filial.
good that u have their heart.
BUT DO IT THE RIGHT WAY.
let me tell u wad is monkey see monkey do.
if u let yr child see how u neglect yr parents.
let me tell u.
when u r old..
u will experience it too..
cfm guarantee plus chop.
read before 小木碗？
yar..
tt's it!

and peeps,
if u got time.
please do go n visit yr grandparents if u have time.
dunno wad to say to them its still ok.
show that u care.

~大人们以为出门之前桌上放六百就算是孝敬
一天到晚拼了命
赚钱少了关怀有什么意义
外婆她的期待
慢慢变成无奈
大人们始终不明白
她要的是陪伴
而不是六百块
比你给的还简单
外婆她的无奈
无法变成期待
只有爱才能够明白~

u all understand not??

Singaporeans is really smth else..
i wonder how effective is all the campaign that the govt is trying to instil into u.
i think nothing goes into those inconsiderate ppl's brainer.

mayb i shld do my part in repeating wad the govt is trying to go into.
they want a polite society.
remember the 4 million smiles??
please dun smile at the elites only..
if u wan..
smile at the people arnd u.
darn it!

if there's alot of people taking the train..
do u have to worry that u dun have a place to sit.
(mayb its becos there's smth wrong with yr legs and u desperately need to sit down no matter wad..
oops! me bad.. really.. i am so bad.. i dunno that the feeble legs of yours after a few hours of SHOPPING will result yr legs to give way.. and u dun care any image of yours and had to snatch that only precious seat with an elderly..
i am not a doctor.. but i can give u an advice/advices. if u are poor, drink milk. if u have some money on hand. go get a car. u dun have to throw face n will get a comfy seat without fighting.. isn't it cool?!)

to girls..
if u need to attend to smth which is important to u but..
u are meeting yr bf..
and u dunno wad to do..
TELL YOU WAD,
if u are worried that yr bf is angry for being late..
and decide not to do that important thing..
u can jolly well, say gdbye to him forever.
if he is the one, no matter how long..
he will still wait and respect what you are doing..

y becum a 笨女人。
stupid!


so yar..
ppl is ugly..
the world is shit..
do yr part..
"BE A PERSON, DO THE RIGHT THING."
dun you think i am scolding everybody except myself.
i is ugly too..
STOP LOOKING AT THE MIRROR.
nuttin will ever change.

wad the hell..
i am still angry..
BREATHE!

meaningful song..

歌曲：没那么爱他
歌手：范玮琪 专辑：一比一

你有权利情绪化
你不一定要坚强
便有些事情不能伪装
别为自己设了框
我懂失去的悲伤
也懂进退的挣扎
但想起过去都是失望
又何必要放不下

是习惯还是爱
不放心还是不甘心
只有你自己知道解答
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
编织过的梦想
自己也可以抵达
谁说一定要有他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

深呼吸抬头望
发现天空很宽广
这世界那么大
幸福总会在某个地方
其实你没有那么爱他
真的不需要那么想他
拥有过的计划
留给值得的对象
你知道不会是他
其实你没有那么爱他
没有深陷到不可自拔
认清了真心话
你就放得下

a special msg to a VERY special person

please see the post before first!!!!!!

yeah.. that's the group of weird ppl.. (excluding me..)
go tO the small room..
no aircon somemore..
HOT ah HOT..
weekend hideOut..
can someone talk to the management???!!!?!?! 

every sunday..

a night of...

a night of..
sweat..
haze..
food..
laughters..
bonding..
fun..
relaxation..

thanks for all the fun!

long lost frEn?

today i talk to esmond online.
it's been how long?
i think the last time we communicate is when i am having emerge this year.
like km..
the feeling is the same..

so whenever,
i think of a higher hokkien ah beng..
a drummer,
a guitarist,
a not a christian christian..
i'll remember the times our clazz had together..

abit strange.
i dun rmb how i study in JC.
i only rmb the times when our class are waiting for the next lesson to start.
the times we went to the fish tank.
the times..
we dunno is studying or slacking..
the times they suan me! *darn it*

hahahaha.. how i miss tt class.
and wonder how come the situation is not as bad as i tot will becum.

bao is leaving..
wad will our situation b like?
i really wonder..

i thank those who had a part in my life.
i miss you all.

Free Hugs Campaign

Oh.. this video reminds me of the times when i am in States.
Come on peeps.
A day a hug keeps the sorrow away..



it's really nice.. but Singapore is too conservative..
But please..
ppl like *ahhem* dun abuse it.. (joking!!!)
it's a gesture to show that u care~

i care!
pls pass on..

taboo words..

in CS2301.
Vivien says in wadever we write..
We must never use words such as SHOULD n WOULD.
yeah..
i agree.
Will blur the users.
I begin to learn.
I will try not to use it.
ppl.. try not to use this words..
if u want to tell me smth.
i dunno u want or dun want.

我要飞

歌曲：我要飞歌手：f.i.r. 专辑：我要飞 寻梦之途全纪

f.i.r--我要飞
作词:f.i.r 作曲:f.i.r
广告黑松沙士主题曲

我要飞飞越伤悲
一种接近光的感觉
自由是梦想无边无际的能源
我敢飞有梦就追一种骄傲尊严的美
巨大的考验现在就要跨越
飞飞飞飞飞飞飞跃伤悲
追追追追追绝不后退
飞飞飞飞飞飞飞跃伤悲
我要用力飞不管有多远超越了极限挑战的冒险
我要勇敢追奔向到终点痛过的泪水换来是甜美
我要用力飞不管有多远超越了极限挑战的冒险
我要勇敢追奔向到终点痛过的泪水换来是甜美
我要飞
我想飞


good song. vv meaningful..
altho i dun like to sing the chorus! hahahah..
yeah..
i am a woman on a mission

life Vs swing

went swinging today.
and while i am swinging, i got this thinking pop into my head.

people ususally compare life to a see saw..
in life when there's up, we will surely have down.

so i shall compare life to a swing.
mayb not swing. but the experience on sitting on a swing
ever walk past a playground full of kids playing happily with the swing?
ever notice the happiness they had when they go real high?
okie..
next scenario..
ever walk past a group of teenagers/adults perhaps swinging?
especially girls.. *i am not stereotyping or anything*
screaming at the top of their lungs to ask their fren to stop pushing them so high??

well..
maybe this theory of mine only applies to ppl like me.
coward.
likes the thrill of going high.
wants to feel the freedom?
wants to feel the carefreeness?

and den..
when u are about to go real high..
u stop
u became a coward..
scare of falling.
*tho u jolly well know, u wun fall*
and u stop!

GREAT!
clap!

i think i will just swing at a comfortable height..

darn it. wad's the use of working so hard and the result u get is fcuking not wad u wan.
just aim low. mayb i'll feel better.
(it may mean another thing.. i'm not smart.)

想回到过去

sistaZ..

did i tell u all i saw hwa hwa on monday??
so busy till i forgot..
mao han!
i saw him outside mac.. like thief like tt.. muahahaha..
no lar.. vv aimless.. dunno what to do.

needless to say..
what is his purpose le lar hor.
hahhaa..
笨男人
newae..
updates.. he coming to engine lea.. NUS one somemore..
is this a bad news or good news?
hahha..
i think life will be better.. i can laff more.

oh ya..
talk for awhile..
den i rmb wad ah ngia told us when we have gathering..
*i think its true..*
he change abit..
but then he is still our hwa hwa..
muahahaha..

he ask for another gathering..
=.=
alwaz like tt..
hahhaa..

den i rmb mei's entry.
yar..
i realise too.
they have becum a very special part in our lives.
how i yearn for our sec school life.
I think that's my best years!
cant go back.
only can yearn for it.
but isnt it wonderful to go back.. and stay there forever.
ceteris paribus

how i miss the times.
thanks for everything friends!

i love my sisters too~ :)

失忆

我书桌上的香水
你沉默的背对
只剩下那一点点
还是闻得到从前
西装里的口袋
我整理过的爱
又破了那一点点
我帮你补了誓言

从没实现的摇滚梦
我也陪你走好多遍
断弦的吉他
始终弹不出我要的答案
我和你拼了好几夜
约翰蓝侬的图片
却拼不到一个永远
我在等你喊停

感觉不到从前温柔的双眼
感觉的到你已不再眷恋
无奈的笑试图让我知道
得了失忆可能对你我都好
感觉不到说是为了我改变
感觉的到承诺划过我左脸
我不知道也许我会得到
一句还是朋友
这是借口还是尽头


another vv sad song..
however, am proud to say is jay's creation.

::the chorus::
please.. if u got prob.. dun avoid.
go n solve it.
失去了，后悔了，
结果呢？
什么都没有了。

poisson distribution curve

the poisson curve

an advice! *proud*

okie..
hahaha..
someone ask me something.
about wad to give to girls lar..
want to know wad girls look out for nowadays.
(u know.. scare give wrong things ma.. as in the girl will appreciate not.)

den we talk and talk for so long..
keep saying must depend on the girl's character and wad she looks out for.

den..
*proud*
i say something cleber!
hahahhaa..
i say:"Why must think of things to please girls lea? if she likes what you give then that means she is somehow your type. No point to please someone that has to make you do things that only make that person happy!"

Got point hor..
hahahahaha...

VERY PROUD!

for fun..

hahaha..
i think this is not right..
but i think this is farnie..

have wireless at home?
always kena tap by yr neighnours..
well..
hahaha..
go to this website..
and i think they will never tap on yr network ..
cos i think..

check it out!
it's damn cool lar.

http://www.ex-parrot.com/~pete/upside-down-ternet.html

我的娘

i dunno why..
but i suspect my 娘 is going towards 可爱路线
like my sistaz's 娘
my sistaz's 娘 all damn cute one lor..
den when i was lamenting to them my my mum not cute..
den she do stun to me...

woot~
i think this is a trend..
all the 娘s in the world decide to go 可爱路线
wahahahaha..
i think my sistaz dunno wad happen yet..
so i shall say here..

this is wad happened..
娘:今天又回家吗?
moi: 没有, 不是讲了咯?
娘: den 有月饼吃吗?
moi:不是讲了咯, 婆婆讲要拜拜了才可以吃, 所以没有带去学校..
*beware! this is the stun part*
娘: obigood lar.. 没有回家, 没得吃咯. (pls.. her tone is damn farnie one.. abit act cute abit suan..)
kao.. kena suan by my niang!
hahahaha..

but the moral of the story is that..
is damn farnie la..
woo~ wad is happening man?
一起走可爱路线吧..

sorry peeps..

hahaha..
due tO some technical problems..
my links n tagboard
IS　ＤＥＬＥＴＥＤ．　
hahaha..
so give me some time to put it all back ah..

月饼节快乐

interesting reads...

well.. if u see this post of mine..
means u are tired from your studies and need some reliever??
so here i am..
not gg to bore u with my nonsense..

read if u wan..
it may b boring.. hahahha..

i shall read tmr..
i must finish my ICC first.. ROAR.. (hf's n zommerang's fault.. =.= i vv sleepy!!!)
but alot of course mates says the article is not bad..

ooh.. i like this sentence. from one of the article in tt webby,
"if you don’t like what you see in the mirror, don’t blame the mirror"


http://www.google-watch.org/

ENJOY!

what if...

here's an interesting article i read from one of my coursemate's blog. hahaha..
set my tired mind.. really thinking..
and i stress..

Very meaningful..
i bet u think of these problems before..
*food for thought*


took from http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/magazine/4954856.stm

What if...

By Daniel Sokol

Suppose you could save five lives by taking one - what would be the correct thing to do? Such ethical dilemmas provide classic "experiments" for philosophers. Here the Magazine presents four such quandaries and asks readers to vote on what they think is right.

[Magazine note: apologies but we have had a technical hitch with the votes. We've replaced the vote modules, and will add those already cast to the totals.]

Like scientists, philosophers use experiments to test their theories. Unlike scientists, their experiments do not require sophisticated laboratories, white-robed technicians or even rodents. They occur in the mind, and start with 'What if...'.

These "thought experiments" help philosophers clarify their understanding of certain concepts and intuitions. In the field of ethics, thought experimenters typically present a dilemma, examine the most popular "intuitive" response and then show the implications for real-world issues.

But such experiments are rarely tested on large numbers of people. So to reach a larger group, here are four typical experiments. Readers are invited to vote on how they think they would act in each case.

Here is a well-known example:

1. THOMSON'S VIOLINIST

One day, you wake up in hospital. In the nearby bed lies a world famous violinist who is connected to you with various tubes and machines.

To your horror, you discover that you have been kidnapped by the Music Appreciation Society. Aware of the maestro's impending death, they hooked you up to the violinist.

If you stay in the hospital bed, connected to the violinist, he will be totally cured in nine months. You are unlikely to suffer harm. No one else can save him. Do you have an obligation to stay connected?

The creator of the experiment, Judith Thomson, thinks the answer is "no". It would be generous if you did, she claims, but there is no obligation to stay, even if that means the violinist will die.

So how is this bizarre scenario related to the real world? Thomson used the experiment to show that a pregnant woman need not go to full term with her baby, as long as she had taken reasonable steps to avoid getting pregnant. It is thus a "pro-choice" argument.

The violinist represents the baby, and you - in the hospital bed - play the role of the mother. If you think unhooking yourself from the violinist is acceptable, but aborting an unwanted foetus is not, what are the moral differences between the two cases? In both situations, you could save a person by bearing a great burden for nine months.

One major flaw with thought experiments, especially in ethics, is that they are rarely tested on people. The sample size is minuscule. The philosopher will simply assume that most people think that one option is right (or wrong).

Philippa Foot, a renowned British philosopher, believed that if a doctor, about to save a patient's life with a large dose of a scarce drug, was suddenly interrupted by the arrival of five patients each in need of one fifth of the drug (without which death would be certain), then the doctor should give it to the five. It is, after all, better to let one person die than five.

Elizabeth Anscombe, another prominent philosopher, disagreed: "There seems to me nothing wrong with giving the single patient the massive dose and letting the others die". As these assumptions about people's intuition are central to the arguments of many philosophers, and as these assumptions can be tested, why not do so?

2. THE RUNAWAY TROLLEY CAR

One of the most famous thought experiments in ethics is "the runaway trolley". It aims to clarify how we should distinguish right from wrong.

Here is the scenario with two well-known variations.

A runaway trolley car is hurtling down a track. In its path are five people who will definitely be killed unless you, a bystander, flip a switch which will divert it on to another track, where it will kill one person. Should you flip the switch?

3. THE FAT MAN AND THE TROLLEY CAR

The runaway trolley car is hurtling down a track where it will kill five people. You are standing on a bridge above the track and, aware of the imminent disaster, you decide to jump on the track to block the trolley car. Although you will die, the five people will be saved.

Just before your leap, you realise that you are too light to stop the trolley. Next to you, a fat man is standing on the very edge of the bridge. He would certainly block the trolley, although he would undoubtedly die from the impact. A small nudge and he would fall right onto the track below. No one would ever know. Should you push him?

Philippa Foot would say that everyone ("without hesitation") would choose to flip the switch in the first trolley case, but that most of us would be appalled at the idea of pushing the fat man.

The philosophical puzzle is this: Why is it acceptable to sacrifice the one person in The Runaway Trolley Car but not in The Fat Man case? Can it ever be morally acceptable to kill an innocent person if that is the only way to save many? Should some actions - such as deliberately killing innocent people against their wishes - never be done? The last thought experiment explores this idea:

4. THE CAVE EXPLORERS

An enormous rock falls and blocks the exit of a cave you and five other tourists have been exploring. Fortunately, you spot a hole elsewhere and decide to let "Big Jack" out first. But Big Jack, a man of generous proportions, gets stuck in the hole. He cannot be moved and there is no other way out.

The high tide is rising and, unless you get out soon, everyone but Big Jack (whose head is sticking out of the cave) will inevitably drown. Searching through your backpack, you find a stick of dynamite. It will not move the rock, but will certainly blast Big Jack out of the hole. Big Jack, anticipating your thoughts, pleads for his life. He does not want to die, but neither do you and your four companions. Should you blast Big Jack out?

If the roles were reversed, what would you advise your trapped companions to do?

Thought experiments, although abstract, possibly implausible and open to different interpretations, can have important repercussions on the way we think and act as individuals. They raise thorny questions about morality in medicine, war, politics and indeed in everyday life.

Is there a difference between killing someone and letting them die? Are consequences all that matter, or are there some things we should never do, whatever the outcome?

By pointing out inconsistencies in our thinking, or simply encouraging us to reflect on issues we usually ignore, they can sharpen our intellect and enrich our moral lives. They also make for great conversation topics at the dinner table or at the pub. But be warned: you may lose friends as a result. And stay away from caves and bridges.

Daniel Sokol is a medical ethicist at Imperial College, London.

wow.. long huh..
if u read everything finished..
i bet it set u thinking, right?

how deep is our mind?
how scary it is?
Can we ever know the answer?

roar..

who is good at html??
save my blog!
it is super duper ugly in Internet explorer.

People.
use mozilla to read my blog..
it is nice!

*and i juz add a tagboard*
but then...
hai~~~~

WHY??

me n my big mouth

i remember saying that i am vv free.
i would like to CORRECT this statement.
NOT ANYMORE.
is either i am crazy that day or i am still in a holiday mood.

super late nights is back.
not going home during the weekend is becoming an option.
i am also looking into the option of sleeping late n waking up early and go to central lib to mug.
~or should i say to make central lib my second home in NUS?~
and to skip lecture.. 'cos i need to finish my SHITS (tt's juz a consideration)

What's efficiency?
to complete my stuff?
or to complete my stuff at a given time?

sometimes i tell myself.
the time u exceed spending on smth is not necessary a bad thing.
it means more effort is put in.
it will be good.
BUT..
there's a limit to everything ba~
i cant b exceeding time everytime.
too much time spent may not means good quality.
It may still be shit.

i seem to forget how you will feel to finish all the shit that you have on a given day.
i know i have it when i am in zhss n when i am in states.
it IS siong.
not siong. IS super duper siong.
i tot i found the feeling back.
but then again..
*all the pilings of shit.. (really lea.. all sorts of different one!)
shall not tok abt it.*

it's like an internal struggle.
you wan swee swee but u also wan fast.
how can~
to me.. is cannot one.
fine.
i shall continue to have this internal struggle.
everyday, i will have different rounds of fight between time n swee.
but i know swee alwaz wins.
(but when i am tired.. i will consider letting time wins) ==> and that's when fear comes into play too.
woohoo..
my life rox man!
that's me. =.=

*i shall announce. i'm so screwed.*

my habits have change.
but i still dun feel accomplished.
come on..
let me feel it once more..





i shall make it happen.
i am a woman on a mission.

~love story~

spent like 2 hours to read finish a love story.
66 chapters.
i have read it before but briefly.
so today, i decide to read it again.
At one go.
With one feeling.

it's like a sine curve.
story is building up in the beginning and den slowly it reaches its peak and then the peak falls.
however, this story has more than 1 peak.
exciting..
when there's more than one peak,
it would mean that there's more than one trough too.
So as the story progress,
each chapter gets longer.
with more details to add.
the author wants to convey more?
or is it becos there are too many things not to be missed out?
Sweet.

I have read that book before.
BUt not at one go.
today,
after finish reading it.
i am speechless.
it's a good book.
I learn alot.
grow alot from it.
and i realise i have been foolish.
(people learn from mistake dun we?)
i think at some point in time,
there's only one word to describe me.
de javu. (hope i spell correctly)

its like its all coming back to me.

I FELT like reading the part 2 of the book.
However, it is not out yet.

宠坏

die..
i'm too spoilt
有必要吗?
有!

muahahaha..
我是幸福的小女孩

juZ for fun

took it from one of my coursemate blog..
haha.. it's cute..
mayb it's becoz i have lost contact with programming..
so when i see this..
i find it rather amusing..

function stableMatching {
Initialize all m M and w W to free
while free man m who still has a woman w to propose to {
w = m’s highest ranked such woman
if w is free
engage (m, w)
else some pair (m’, w) already exists
if w prefers m to m’
(m, w) become married
m’ becomes free
else
(m’, w) remain married
}
}


HAAPY CHILDREN'S DAY TO ALL!

=.=

cannot understand why my england is so powderful.
must i always be so reliant on dictionary.com n its thesaurus???

ROAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR~~~~~~~~
i need to do smth abt this!

=.=

有必要这么sad吗?

cannot tahan..
i have been saddened by this songs for days!

透透气

all the readings, all the projs, all the assignments and tutorials..
hai~
i cant breathe..

but i am still taking it easy..
i is dead.
dooms day coming.. hahah..
but then again..
i think..
all of us need to take a break!
so i am taking one too~

mid term break is coming.. yeah n boo! (dun ask me why..)
it's a breather for all of us..
*i hope. cross fingers!*
well..
it juZ got to me..
its the last week to chiong all the fun n go back to the boring uni life..
and hereby i announce..
i am going to pamper myself with THERAPYS!

muahahah.. so wad's the first therapy?
i dun really know..
but here's a list of theraphy i hope i can attain by end of next week..
here goes..
ktvtherapyretailtherapymindnsoultherapymoneytherapymusictherapyeattherapy n etc etc..

but then again..
all these therapy boils down to one problem.
$$$
roar~
nair mind.. must pamper myself for the last lap..
muahahah..
getting excited for the break..
saw jh's msn nick: "ORD mood", felt like changing mine to: "mid term break mood"
LOL~

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

tok abt the break..
i wan to say..
i am getting claustrophobic..
tt's scary!
i am asking myself this qns repeatedly..
am i trap in school for too long?
or am i trap in my room for too long?
woo..
i need a break..
i need to go out..
BREATHE..
the fresh air..
see the nice scenary..
get my books out of my sight..
muahahah..
i wan to live by the sea~

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
okie..
here's something else..
to my friends oUt there..
i decide to be garang guni..
but is high class that type k!
so if u feel that u have too much unuse stuff..
u can give it to me.
i will do u a favor of having it!

since i is a high class garang guni..
here's a list of things u can give me.
- cds
- clothes, shorts, pants, dress etc etc
- accesories
- bags
i cant think of wad stuff u can give me! hahaha..

ok la.. you may b wondering why do i need all these stuff right?
dun think i am a crazy woman.
hahaha..
i was planning to see my old n usuable stuff online!
so need more stuffs to sell.. hahaha
u may b thinking of the proceeds right??
okie lar.
*after much discussion with moi-self*
i decide to take 5% commission of the total sale.
muahahahahahaha..
k, joking..
i just need stuff to sell online..
so mayb u give me the pic, n a stated price n a description of it.. i help u post online.. and all the proceeds goes to u!
*i good fren lea*

okie.. update me if u wan to sell or give me stuff!
-pls~ since it is gg to be use as resale stuff.. it must be of a certain quality..
u know.. not torn or "yellow" tee-shirt (发霉).
hahaha..

lalalalalllalalala.. sell all my stuff for my therapy!!!

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

talk abt online shopping..
i think i am addicted to it..
and i have friends who keep giving me website to go n see!
especially, there's sprees~
ROAR~
i is poor woman dun torture me!!
but.. since.. i cant go out window shopping..
I will do my own little "window" shopping through the windows of my computer..
GOOD LEA..
no need walk so much..
BAD LEA..
there's so many things i wan to buy!

ooh.. someone STOP me!

flOwers oF lOve

~FlOweErs oF lOve~

lOve given to the nEedy
lOve given by sisTaZ
lOve given by boi

Thank You...

not related by blood but are closer than kins

We are not related by blood..
(tho some people say we do have some similar features)
We do not have anything in common..
(talents wise lar)
We are brought together by fate..
We laUgh 2gether..
We 酸 each other..
We dO stUpid things 2gether..
We cRy 2gether..
We play 2gether..
We stand by each Other eVerytIme..
We make a fOol oUt of oUrselves 2gether..
aNd ppl cAnnot cOmprehend..
Y in this wOrld there exists the 4 Of us?

U cant comprehend?
U thInk we R weIrd?
U thInk we r trying to A.A?
it'S up tO yOu all tO think whO we Are..
aS lOng aS we R haPpi, wE dUn give a DamN.

it's beEn some timE...
7 or 8 yeaRs?
so whO's counting?
dOes it matter?
wAd it matters wOuld be tHaT we will alWaz be there fOr eaCh other tilL wE neEd tHe walkIng sticks.

tHanks sisters~
LoVe yOu all LotZ..
thAnks for being there.
thAnks for not asking.
tHaNks for dOing yr mighty best to make me sMilEz.
thAnkS for trusting.
tHaNks fOr supPorting..
tHankS for EVERYTHING..
and lastly, thAnks for being you~

i feel good when i am with u all...
i dUn feel sO sad when times are bad..
bUt it's only when i leave you all i feel worse...
yOu all dO haVe the mAgiC powEr tO make the day shIne..

CaN't Thank enough fOr whAt yOu all have donE.
Thanks~

Light the candle of love

If you think you are suffering now..
mayb you would want to think of the children around in the world who are victims of the internet child abuse..

You think that your problem cant be solve..
think of those abused children who cant even fend or speak for themselves..

So how great is your problem compared to theirs?

Please read:
The innocent victims of Internet child abuse cannot speak for themselves.

But you can.

With your support, we can eradicate this evil trade.

We do not need your money.

We need you to light a candle of support.

We're aiming to light One Million Candles by December 31, 2006.

This petition will be used to put pressure on governments, politicians,financial institutions, payment organisations, Internet service providers,technology companies and law enforcement agencies who have the power to work together to eradicate the commercial viability of online child abuse.

You have the power to get them to take action.

Please light your candle at lightamillioncandles.com or send an email to light@lightamillioncandles.com.

Together, we can destroy the commercial viability of Internet child abuse sites that are destroying the lives of innocent children.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

~You were once a kid.. you know what a kid should deserve.~

Thank you.

i love my brother

i have a confession..
i love my brother.

Thank you bro!
you are so sweet!
thanks for making yr stupid sister happy.

<<可不可以不勇敢>>

歌曲：可不可以不勇敢
歌手：范玮琪 专辑：真善美

你用浓浓的鼻音说一点也没事
反正又美又痛才是爱的本质
一个人旅行也许更有意思
和他真正结束才能重新开始
几年贴心的日子换分手两个字
你却严格只准自己哭一下子
看着你努力想微笑的样子
我的心像大雨将至那么潮湿
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当伤太重心太酸无力承担
就算现在女人很流行释然
好像什么困境都知道该怎么办
我们可不可以不勇敢?
当爱太累梦太乱没有答案
难道不能坦白的放声哭喊?
要从心底拿走一个人很痛很难

怎样!?

learn a new word this week.
affirmative.
thanks mingyang..
for enlightening me..

so dun affirm me..
i am not a 3 year old kid.
i know wad's my standard..
i am no cleber kid.
i dun have a good command of languange.
i cant converse well in whatever language that i know.
i know wad's going on around me..
i know i may be crazy..
i know i have my high-ness which some may never comprehend.
i have strange thinking which i dun understand myself sometimes.
that's me.
怎样!
just dun affirm me telling me stuff just to please my ears.
it's useless..

I know myself.
i dun need pacifying.
i am not a kid.
i'm just me.

dun lie, dun cheat, dun hide.
P.S I have eyes. I can feel...

*thanks.. no comment wanted for this post!*

bad habit..

i am back to my vicious cycle again..
which i dun really encourage myself to do that..
i got a goal..
i hope i can learn to sleep early..
i shall try my uptmost effort to make it works
hahaha..

bless moi..

*let's set 2am for these few weeks till midterm*
-mid term play like hell-
*come back.. try to sleep at 1 or 12!*
-fat hope.. but i hope i can! it's not wrOng to dream-

how i miss you all..

today, i had a gathering with the e4 clique.
It's been a long time..
Very long..
and i had lost track of when we had one.

tho it's long..
but we still dun change.
nOt one bit..
and i just lOve the way it is.
the way we behave after so lOng..
the way we talk..
the way we feel abt each other..
the way we dun feel any qualms after not meeting each other for very long.
i juZ lOve today.
too bad it is a short one..
but the luNch was good..
i think it's becos of the company that we had got.

okie..
so wad's the update?
today there were ten of us.
too bad.. hui gor gor(muahahaha..) n hwa hwa not free to come..
they went overseas.
think it is for army..
and the rest nvr reply..
but i am quite satisfied with the turnout la.. got 10 lea..
oh yeah.. kel is nOt here.. he went to US to stUdy le~
so we went to the big swensens in town to have our lunch..
Wad else is new?
nothing! hahahah..
i sms them to meet at orchard mrt @ 11am.
and wad is the time that we finally left the mrt stn?
i think its 1145.
i is cleber.. i know they will surely b late.. n i nvr put 12 if not.. hahaha.. i really dunno wad will b the time for us to start eating..
*den ching says. next time see ah loo sms, she knows wad time to reach le.. PI!*
so it is the usual people who were late again as usual. (except ah ngia)
standard..
but it is fun to see this standard..
aNd our blur queen eileen woke up at a wonderful timing..
i think she woke up at 11am. hahaha.. and sO we had to wait.
oh yeah..
mar and the poly guys went into army!
haha.. and marcus got real thin lor!
(变好看了！）
woohoo..
army really do wonders.
hahha.. opps!

we tok alot of cock lar..
not just thAt...
we r still lame as ever..
still blur as ever..
still 搞笑 as ever..
oh my gosh..
today no hwa hwa n jh..
alr so farnie.. i cant imagine the next one! hahaha..

and also..
jasmine's bro is gg to get married..
so cool..
we wan to 喝喜酒。。
too bad.. we dunno him.. if nOt we sure can go..
and den.. when we tok abt this..
the tOpic inevitably will b linked to lionel n xh..
结婚！ 结婚！
its so cute to see them lar..
hahah.. and so is oUr conVersAtion about their relationships..
they have been tOgether since sec 4 ba.. Cool~~
i wan to be the wedding planner..
ok.. 姐妹团！

u know..
lionel says zoo vv smelly so dun wan to go zoo with xh..
den today i go tell him..
IT'S NOT SMELLY..
den he stress and tell xh they will go next time..
muahahaha..

xh says last time is he has to listen to her..
den now.. is she has to listen to him..
so cUte hor.
aNd lastly..
we ask them to get married n ask lionel to saVe
n lionel's reply is tt his army $$ all spent on xh liao..
no more...
hahahaha.. u see the both of them!
okie.. set.. i die die .. wan to see u all get married!

oh yeah..
times flies..
especially when u are grOwing up..
u dun realise how times flies~~~~~~~
and u r gRowing up as a rate that's so fast..
xh says her bro alr reject so many girls and stuff..
i still rmb the times when i went to her hse and her bro was still in primary sch..
and he is like a small boi..
eating parsley w xh to irritate me..
cos i dun like the smell! hahahaha..

and 粪妹..
last time like charcoal..
cos play bball..
nOw is girl liao..
and wans to b white..
even i am darker than her! hahahaha..
and she is as stUpid as ever..

yp is as lame and irritatIng as ever~ hahaha
got sColding from eileen todAy..
obigood lor..
see..

hahaha..
i remember one incident..
is abt eileen n i went usa recently...
den ch say:"OHyo"
den i stress..
i say" is OHIO (o-hi-yo) k"
den xh says..
"ah loo pronounce wrongly is it.."
i look at her with stun eyes..
and she says..
"ah loo alwaZ prOnoUnce wrongly.."
DAMN!
shan is worse lor..(oops! hee~)

oh.. lastly..
hope ch, eileen n fen mei found their dao ming si!!
*ch i know u wan dao ming si too*

hahaha.. so fun..
here's some pics!


grp photo


结婚吧


the guys tt came



the chiobus~



act cute~



the two zhabo tt went US~

*i love you all*

my girl..

she never fails to amaze me..
whenever, i read her post.
And it is always these sort of posts that she post made me admire her..
i like the way she thinks.
i like the way she writes.
i like the way she phrase.

today,
she amaze me once more..
with this post..
which i think its true.
and i think its worth knowing..
it's worth to know wad sort of person u are.
and it's worth to know wad sort of person u need to be..

i love you gal.. :)

here is wad Jasmine wrote.. (peiseh.. dunno how to link.. so i will paste it here..)

Understanding woman

From new clothes to new accessories to lipo on hips, tummy and thigh.
All girls would love to have a fairy godmother by the side and grant all our wishes with a wave of her miracle stick.
Pamper her with everything and anything...

BUTttttt

*triple buts....

Don't ask her to make choices. Don't pamper her with choices. Guys, don't make yourself and member of the opposite sex miserable too. Because given our nature, we tend to think a lot. We will always think of alternatives and ask ourselves if there are better choices available. Unless you don't mind a looooooooong reply, don't give us too many options to choose from.

Well, at the same time, I don't deny that it's really sweet for a guy to ask a girl for her opinion (this shows that he respects her decision too).

Sounds contradicting yea? =)))

I know.

It will takes a lot of effort for a couple to reach that mutual stage whereby both parties take turns in role playing the part of the decision maker.

Thats why I'm thankful for baby's endearing effort in being sensitive to my needs and helping me to take choices out of my hand so I won't have to fret over it =)))
Similarly, for my babyboy,I will always be there to help him out in his decision-making.
For that, I promise you.. =)))


Lastly, I shall end this with a quote by Russell Peters:
BE A MAN. DO THE RIGHT THING.

SIAN AH..

roar..
there's no light outside..
i is freaking tired..
there's so many things to do..

cant sleep..
cant go toilet..
cant eat..

BLEAH!!!!

好爱简单..

it's been a crazy month.
coming back from US, school and settling down.
It's crazy..
It's stressful...
However, i am happy that i am still able to enjoy the most simplest and wonderful things in life.

SIMPLICITY

its really a magical thing.
when u r tired.
when u r stress.
when u feel everything is not right..
simplicity makes it all worthwhile..

and many may think tt this is rubbish..
but it is so true to me.
and all it takes is just a simple mind to look at simple things.

let me gives you of the simple things in my life that i am so happy with.
-a simple conversation with my jie meis.
-a simple and lame joke made by anyone.
-a simple photo that I saw when I open my pgp's door.
-a simple breakfast
-a simple song
-a simple morning. With the sunshine and morning breeze.
-a simple walk
-my FM
-a long bus ride home
-a simple dinner
-decorating my room
-my creativity
-etc etc..

there's so many things that i did.. but i forgot.. roar~
really.. its cool.
just look at things simply and u will feel better.
even if you found a small little ant on yr table.
and it can be wonderful..
*observe how the ant works or how it looks, u will be b amazed!*

I LOVE SIMPLICITY! muahahaha..
hope all of you are too..

A new life.. A new beginning..

When i came back from US,
i know my life will be changed.
I know it.
and it is true..

I began to set new goals for myself.
I began to look at things differently.
I expect my life to change for the better.

I hope i will not be the nua kia as before.
(i am still nua for my everyday life~ muahaha)
i hope things will remain the same as now..
as the sem goes by...
*cross fingers*

Got PGP again. Decide to make it really a good place.
it's a new beginning..
yeah.. and it is becOming a room i wan.
i still have more things to add..
to make it more homely..
i cant wait..
i cant wait till the day i am fully satisfied with the room.

NEW LIFE, NEW BEGINNING would also means MORE STRESS!
expectations on oneself is higher..
i is exhausted..
i is siAnz..
it's only week 4.
and i can feel that it will be tougher as days go by..
All i can say..
is that i only look forward to Friday @ 2 pm.
1.5 days to relac!

- give me a good start and den keep it going the way it is -

P.S wanna whine abit.. think bad luck is coming back.. my printer is spoilt and so is my night light!! please gO away BAD LUCK!

我还在学习 II

有人告诉我,
人在学习中,
总会碰到失败,
不管你有多努力地学好你想学的东西,
你一定会有困难.

当困难摆在你面前时,
你整个人就会被吓到,
你就开始问自己,
你到底要什么?
他们说,
自己要什么就是什么..
所以,
自己知道自己要的是什么了..
就忘了自己要去解决问题..
我最后选择了逃避...

其实,
我有尝试过去解决问题,
但,
我一直错过...
可能是我害怕..
我就一直让问题拖着..
一直地拖着..

或者,
我在欺骗自己..
幻想问题决绝了..
想让自己好过一点...
但,
问题更本没解决,
我一直都在骗自己...

又有人告诉我,
傻瓜以为时间是会为他而停留的..
我笑了傻瓜的愚蠢..
但,
自己不知不觉也变成了个傻瓜.
真的是五十步笑百步...
好傻!!
我就这样...
做了好久的傻瓜...

时间越久,
问题就出现越多...
就在这时,
我恍然问题一直都在..
好想解决..
但,
我一直在错过时机..
就这么被时间拉着...

很不巧的,
问题出现了外来的因素,
使得这个问题越来越大..
问了自己同样的问题,
自己要的是什么..
做什么决定才是对的?
最后,
我做了一个自私的决定...
一个为自己而想的决定...

我承认我没去想后果,
我以为问题不会变得那么大..
以为会没事,
傻瓜就是傻瓜... 嗨~

终于到了一个阶段,
我发觉这个决定其实会带来更大的问题时,
一切都太迟了,
我疯了,
我后悔了,
我后悔没解决我原有的问题..
我后悔为什么我要选择逃避,
我后悔为什么自己要骗自己...

终于,
到了一个阶段大家都无法忍受时..
我想出了个方法...
一个残酷的方法,
一个不公平的方法,
可是我只剩这个方法..

请原谅我们不懂得怎样地去解决这个问题...

我还在学习

i am still learning.
learning to be stronger.
i am trying very hard.
and i know i can do it.

i am still learning.
learning to smile when the times are bad.
the smiles may be small but..
i know i can do it.

i am still learning.
learning to look at things simply.
it is hard given the harsh reality of life but...
i know i can do it.

i am still learning.
learning to be less melancholy.
it's a bad habit of mine but...
i know i can do it.

i am still learning.
learning not to overestimate myself.
it's smth i always thought is not true...
however, it is so true tt i'm so glad tt i did not make that mistake.

i have
learn,
learnt,
and i am still learning..

Don't cry because its over, smile because it happened. -- Unknown

到不了...

X 年前，
她深爱着他，
他却辜负了她。

她拼命握着他的手，
想把距离拉的近一点，
在许许多多的不确定中，
寻觅他的眼神的肯定。

他逃避了她眼神中乞求，
否定了她的存在。
他松开了她的手，
把本在咫尺的她推得远远的。

N 年后，
他悔了，
她却心寒了。

他尝试寻找当初放弃的眼神，
却发现她的眼神再也不是停留在他的身上。
他决定等待，
选择这次换他做她的守护神。

曾为他掉过无数次眼泪的她的眼睛，
再也没勇气去注视他了。
不可原谅的辜负，
心这次选定再也不要去爱了。

X 年后的今天。
他身边出现了另外一个她。
她却很不争气的又为他哭了。

老天的恶作剧？
他的过失？
她的无意的报复？

终究他们爱过， 但也错过彼此。

心酸的感觉，你懂得吗？

this is a story that shan wrote..
its a story that the sistaz know.
its a story that the sistaz are trying to remind each other that we will nvr ever be in it. .
its a story..
and a sad one..

ching says..
this songs suit the story..
so would like to post it here to complement the story..
到不了..
有时候...
i would say.. that's life.
SIMPLICITY IS JUST A DREAM.

歌曲：到不了

你眼睛会笑弯成一条桥
终点却是我永远到不了
感觉你来到是风的呼啸
思念像苦药竟如此难熬
每分每秒
我找不到我到不了
你所谓的将来的美好
我什麽都不要知不知道
若你懂我这一秒
我想看到我在寻找
那所谓的爱情的美好
我紧紧的依靠紧谨守牢
不敢漏掉一丝一毫
愿你看到

When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us. -- Helen Keller

my sistaZ

they say i brighten up their life.
hahaha..
but to say the truth.
i feel that they are the one who brightens up my life..
guiding me and making it worthwhile towards each day.

thank you sisters!

1st post in 1105

this is the first entry i did for my 1105 blog..
vv long..
i think i is crazy..
but i think it is vv true..
we man..
are begining to lost our directions in searching for the simple things in life..
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------
first, blog entry in this blog. weird.
but then again. this week, i attended 2 lectures that shows video on two very different things. One is abt ICT, for CS1105 and another one is for Japanese studies. One is about technology, one is about life. it got me into thinking after watching these vid.

well, for the CS1105 video. I feel that the video keeps on emphasizing how wonderful all these technology is going to be in the future but i would beg to differ. the use of technology improving our lifestyle may be great but do the people ever thought of the underlying problems that will arise?
Just some random thoughts after watching..
1) life is great with technology. But it is great to the people who have the money to buy and use the technology mention or to the whole mankind?
i seriously feel that this will arise more discrimmination and also social caste system will arise. Some people will be deprive of something. The world may not be as wonderful as what te scientist had thought it will be.
2) do all man has the knowledge of handling these techology?
3) so in the end, who is controlling who? we, men, controlling the techology or the technology controlling our daily life?
sadly, to say. i am being controlled by the technology around me. i cant leave my laptop. i cant leave my electronics. and i am dependent on all of them. i still remember the times when i am in JC. Everybody is so dependent on the calculator, even the simplest sum like 9 X 8, we have to turn to the calculator. And then the impact of how important the calculator is to us, when we are dumbfounded by the slow reaction we have when we are ask a simple maths qns without the use of calculator.
Just like laptop. It is really a good invention. Making things easier n more convenient. All the work is done there. And believe me, when it crashed, so is your world. it is really a scary thought that, now, technology is something we cannot live without and is slowly controlling our lives.

So can u imagine the future with all the good robots and technology to make our life easier than before?? It's a good thought.. but i would rather that there is technology that will benefit the whole mankind as a WHOLE. Where no one is being excluded. But that would be difficult isn't it. Considering the fact of the opportunities that are given to different people around the world. The world is really unfair.

~side track a abit: i heard before this story. It's about if we distribute the money equally to everybody in the world. It will take less than a decade for the clever businessman to earn all the money and result the world into the current situation right now.. where the poor is really poor and the rich is really rich!~

from the video, we see that people get to choose the baby they like. the place they like to go to be right before their eyes. Well, good thought. but i hate it. That technology shown had ripped us of the most basic thing in life. The beauty of simplicity. It's wonderful to be able to see something you wanted to see from a country. But wouldn't it be better for you to go to the country yourself and experience the REAL beauty of the country. Having that technology, will only made people lazy and lost the sense of being adventurous. The baby.. having to choose your baby is fun! you get the best out of the best. But is it what your baby wants? Why do you have to decide for them what they need to be when they grow up? What happens to those baby who are born naturally with no good features or brain? Are they going to be the outcast? What will happen in the near future? More fighting of whose baby is the best? More argument of whose the best of the best. Is it going to be a better world or worse?
i seems pessissmistic. it's not like there's nothing beneficial the technology can provide. Technology can be good. But it is always a double edged sword. It can be good and it can be bad when people started to abuse it. I just feel that the abuse rate will be high.

second vid, this vid is about how baseball is important to the Japanese. Well, i love the way, how the teenagers work hard together just for the competition. Life is tough for them, all the school work, pressure and the trainings. But they are happy. 'Cos they are working happily towards what they wanted. Well, this is something i think technology can't give to the human being. The emotions they had when they lost or when they win. The process they work together, the relationships they build. Well, it is this simple stuff in life that i really feel that technology really cant bring it to the mankind. Technology, somehow, seperate us mankind. It someone made us anti-social and forget about the little n simple beautiful things that we had in the world.

-i am just someone who likes simplicity-

Happy birthday Bao'En!!!

my sista celebrate her 21st bday today!!!
we do her prezzie till we sweat.
we got her a scrapbook, a vid, a mp3 n lastly vouchers for marina square!
she is lucky de, 'cos she has us!!!!
well, i spend the whole day do the vid. i reallydo till i sweat.. n i really got sick! hahaha..
but den again.. i love the prdt. well, love the first part.. the second part of the vid.. its like i am buying time! hahahaha.. well, that's me! but i really is proud of the first part..
as usual.. i gg to show u all the vid!! hahahaha..
*bao cry lea.. when she saw the vid.. i is proud.. and would like to thank shan's for the idea n the rest of the peeps who send me their pic n messages for bao.. if not i dun think this vid will work!*



hahahahahahaha.. nice??? [no more vid liao.. i need rest.. no more creative juices!]
for yr fyi, my sister is from hongkong. so she is older than us by 1 yr..

well, she booked a ktv lounge and invite all her close frens from sec sch, i think jc n uni ba~
seriously, i dun really like her uni frens lar.. too 杂了. but no matter wad, it had been a great day! seeing all the old frens, talk abt the future.. and also "凡旧账". i also dunno why.. i got so high.. go around say hi. eat ah n drink!! (lucky nvr got drunk.. sistaz dun allow me to drink! hahaha.. scare i sing abc..) and sing alot of songs.. 'cos no one seems interested so i sing lor! hahahha.. it's really a cool celebration. 'm so happy that bao is really enjoying herself!
girl.. rmb u will alwaZ b our princess n must alwaz think before u act. play is play but dun over play! :)
newae.. would like to share a conversation tt we had..
hahaha.. it's really a cool one.
moi: eh.. got gf liao not?
yq: nope.
moi: so is single n available lar.
yq: no lar.. not available.
*i gt excited! tot got new gossip!!! thinking mayb he is jio-ing some zhabo!*
shan: y not available??
yq: 浪费钱!!
me n shan: hahahahahahaha..

really.. vv stunning.. his reply.. both of us expect some gossips.. den he say this.. think the previous one too bad le lar.. hahaha.. but shan n i really had a good laff!!! :)
he's a good guy tho.. i need to leave early n bao dun let me leave.. and force me to drink dwn a glass of beer.. i tell u.. the first mouth i alr buay tahan.. den i look at yq PLEADINGLY. muahahaha.. den he vv nice.. drink it up for me! hahaha.. if i drink tt thing.. i think they need to carry me home!

really enjoy myself.. tho its only for like 2 hours?? 'm sorry have to leave early, princess.. 'cos my mama die die also dun wan to give me keys.. hahaha.. love ya lotZ.. will meet up again!

*and thanks for the ride home! too bad we cant catch the moons!*

okie.. time for pic! :)

the 4 sisters who grew up together in sec school, we r the inseperable.. tho we r apart.. but we are still a part of each other! :)

love this pic! 'cos got all my beloved sisters! woohoo~









and lastly.. the cake.. vv chio hor.. but then again.. we think.. the cake is like.. er.. ok lo!



-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
hahaha.. got to talk abt my 21st bday. 'cos i will b the first among the rest of the sista~
ching says.. she will invite the three sisters. go her house. and den, her mama will b bouncer, her papa will b bartender n her bro will be the light holder.. u know.. flash the light arnd.. make it look like the laser lights in club? hahaha..this is so farnie..

den iching ask me to go shangri la.. and have a ball.. theme of the the ball.. victorian time or like tt.. mao han.. i wear got the money.. even if have.. i dun think anyone is attending. so expensive to rent custome! hahahah..
but i got an idea to celebrate it.. i wanna do it by the sea.. haben really think abt it.. ching says we can do nothing.. vv boring.. den i think liao.. i feel that wad she says is also quite true.. but the feel n ambience is good.. and we can have a theme too! muahahaha.. budden again.. before i think any further.. i shld save up!! muahahaha.. mayb during these half yr.. i shld look for nice place to hold my party! muahahaha..

ching bday!!

Ching's bday!
woohoo.. 20th birthday..
and we sistaZ plan a wonderful day for her sia~ muahahah.. we had so much fun!!!
well well.. firstly, we decide to have a skirt day.. so everybody wear skirt.
and moi.. decide to wear the skirt i and ching buy at my fav shop!
this is a super duper mistake...
i was late in the morning liao.. den my auntie was washing the toilet.. so i cannot see how 夸张 i am.. den i have to wait till like 10 den i can see myself.. oh my gosh.. i is late lar.. and i see the 夸张 me.. i also buay tahan..
den my mama see me.. she says," i can see everything!" i super duper stress.. 'cos the top vv 透明!~ grab a tube n wear it.. but no time to care abt the bottom.. and den i left for school!
reach soc.. saw doreen n ching..
their shock expression tells it all.. i tell u, i is stress.. but i hahha.. took ching's jacket and wore it the whole time till i left nus.


me in jacket.. i too shy to walk arnd in my outfit in school.

this is my outfit.. vv overdress in soc.. muahahaha..

this is ching ching outfit.. she thinks she is overdressed until she saw me!

we went to cine for ktv! woohoo~ vv shiok.. its like 解脱! all the long waiting.. is finally over!! we have lotZ of fun! sing lots of songs.. n learn lots of song! muahahaha.. shan's singing improve le wor!! hahaha.. we r proud of u. n we gave ching ching her bday prezzie! vv nice de wor.. purple mp3!! we r good sista~


shan n mei

me n shan.. shan says making her face rounder will den 配合我. ('cos i gt round face)

me n ching.. i vv black n she vv white.. hahahaha

ching ching n her prezzie...

*did i tell u all.. ching's bro gave her angbao lea.. for her bday. its quite a huge amt la.. wahlao.. so envious. shan n i wan to be his god sister.. hahaahhaha*

so after ktv we decide to go for dinner.. was at a lost 'cos plan to go to a restaurant in bukit timah de.. but we are not exactly sure where's the place so we decide to settle for spagettitee (dunno how to spell). order pastas n soup! hahaha..



the food..


US!!!!

well, the serving is big for one person lar.. lucky we alwaz share our food! oh yeah.. me n shan got a conclusion.. As we get older.. we simply cant satisfy our needs. think of the times when we r small n we celebrate our bday with frens in cartel n swenson.. do u feel awesome @ tt point in time? but wad abt now.. if u plan for a celebration, i dun think tt will be the first few restaurants tt come into mind. You are now looking for a place with good ambience n good food n price. vv chim.. u made life difficult for yrself.. giving yrself stress!! but hey.. tt's life. u never get enuff of anything. :)

and den.. we decide to go take neoprint. they say when i am in states.. they went out they will always have smth to rmb me. hahahaha.. like have one more straw(in memory of ah loo) n one fine day.. they went to took neoprint.. n they draw a shit to represent me.. *shake head* hahaha.. so we decide to take another neoprint.. with the four of us! :)


while waiting to take neoprint..

den later we went for dessert. 'cos ch is sponsored by her bro.. we went nydc to eat mudpie. muahahaha.. abit sad cant get to eat fondue! hahaha.. it's okie!!

our mudpies!!!

well.. had been a fun day! tho we r like doing normal activities.. but with the girls around. the day will never be dull. we r alwaz full of nonsense. we cant stop laffing.. everything is fun n beautiful! enjoy yesterday to every bits! thanks gal! n ching hope u like yr prezzie..!!! its gd stuff! :)
hahhaha...
love ya sistaZ~