terrible feeling..

it din gOt better..
my flu got worse!
vv upset..
i am light-headed now..
wadever i do also blur blur de..
and i feel that my nose n thrOat got alot virus!
(u know the feeling?) its like so uncomfortable that you feel that the virus are all situated at that area!
it better get better..
wonder wad cause the flu??

anyway, my visa was doe finally! i can get it on Tuesday!
tt's great.. while waiting to be interviewed..
i tot alot..
u know.. for non-immigrants to apply for visa.. u had to queue up in the hot sun and wait for damn long before u can get in to apply for it..
the queue is just to check yr bag..
and the opening hours is like only 2 hours??
however, if u are an american u can get in straight without queuing!
woo~ i felt unjust at first.. (i am sick n i have to stand in the hot sun!)
budden i realise..
tt's their embassy.
the embassy is there to take care of the Americans needs n also in a way to protect them!
just like Singapore Embassy in the other country..
well.. waiting was horrible..
when i am in, i still had to wait for so damn long for my interview..
well, it's an amazing thing for me to see again!
well, alot of ppl visa kena rejected.
i dunno why?
they talked very long. and they are still rejected.
some wanted to expand business, some just wan to go over to visit ppl, some want to go there work. i dunno why but i feel that if u wan to get a visa to somewhere. mayb big countries like America. They would expect u to be financially dependent (if u are working there or mayb you want to stay there), can speak english or u are a talent or something..
well, dunno..
just feel that to be rejected is quite a sad thing. considering the time u spend in the hot sun and den in the air con room just to get a visa and in the end, what u get is only a NO!

the feeling is bad huh..
if it was me, i will feel terrible!!
i realise..
i dun dare to cycle, its not because i am afraid of the blood, the pain
i am scare of the fall..
i dun like the feeling of falling down..
its like as tho u r beaten.
i dun like the feeling of rejection.
its like as tho u r not good enuff.
i dun like the feeling of losing..
(as in losing something)
its as tho the good times will never be back!
i dun like the feeling of losing..
(as in win or lose that lose! hee..)
its as tho u put in effort in doing smth hoping to get some reward in return but wad you get is actually a reality check that u arent that good enuff! even u put in all yr best.. u are still... LOUSY.

- 1 week n 2 days till my departure -